GOOGLE SEARCHES AT 3:13 A.M.
by Ben Fowlkes
Real estate in Ireland. Psychiatrists in Missoula. Is my dog capable of love. Symptoms of bipolar disorder. What to do about the dwindling of love’s sharp joys and warm delights. What happens if you don’t pay taxes. What qualifies you as a heavy drinker. What’s a lethal dose of Tylenol PM for a 200-pound man who may or may not qualify as a heavy drinker. Are those daylight lamps bullshit. How about ketamine. How about kettlebell workouts I can do while looking out the window at the freezing rain that taps on the glass like a hostile suitor. Is anyone going to help us. Does it matter if we are good. When those ancient people asked questions of the oracle and got only riddles as answers did they feel like it was all a scam or did they walk away more certain than ever that the fault lay with them alone.
Ben Fowlkes works as a sports writer covering the world of professional fighting. His fiction and poetry have appeared in Glimmer Train, Best American Short Stories, Pinhole Poetry, and elsewhere. He's worked as a journalist for nearly 20 years, writing for outlets such as The Athletic, Sports Illustrated, USA Today, The Guardian, and others. He lives in Missoula, Montana, with his two daughters and one dog.